Ship

Lethal Love

                   BREAKING NEWS

The 80's pop sensation 

Lethal Love have reunited,

and all original members are ready to rock.

Singer Angela Lansbury, guitarist Steven Seagal

and dancer Scorpion, have put aside their differences

and are embarking on a world tour this winter.

A choked up Seagal spoke at a conference this morning, 

he was surrounded by Victoria Secret Models.

 

"It's no secret, we've had many demons in the past.

But through vigorous band therapy, 

we were able to crush those demons, CRUSH THEM!" 

When asked specifically, Seagal accredited the band's

reunion to jujitsu training and tantric group sex.

Lethal Love quickly became one of the hottest

bands in the mid-80s, due in a large part to 

their scandalous personal lives.

In the span of a week it seemed that no

member could escape public scrutiny.

Grand larceny, extreme bondage, a crack

induced piracy of The Belle of Louisville...

But Steven Seagal's short temper seemed to be the

final straw to break up the band, which at the 

time seemed, for good. 

Seagal murdered Scorpion--twice in an hour. 

"You know some things are unforgivable," reflected

a wistful Seagal, "but fuck, I mean Scorpion's invincible

and it was the eighties, it was different time." 

Seven reporters were killed trying to get a comment

from Scorpion. 

Lethal Love kicks off their world tour Christmas Eve in Sandusky, Ohio.

moon

bad blood of the darkest light

cannot shadow what I consume

inside, lessons.

I've grown mad black flower.